I always wondered why monks, whether Christian or Buddhist, wished to live meagre, ascetic lives. The apparent hardship, the discipline and the giving up materialism type jargon sent a shiver down my narcissistic spine. How could they do it? Why would they do it? Even contemplating such an idea was beyond my comprehension. Now, however, I think I have become enlightened and ironically this awakening came from following the opposite path to my learned and wise friends.
Big house. Big rooms to clean. Plenty of them. Big wardrobe, loads of ironing. Most things in life are either divided into whats big and whats small. 'He's got a big job. She's got a small car'. It's just too simple yet it becomes a 'big' problem for most people as it's how they define or seek definition for their life.
We celebrate people who have big plans, ideas and so on yet we often forget how enormous the small gesture is. Saying hello, smiling, giving deserved praise. After all, isn't that all we want. And to be loved. Walking into a mansion without any semblance of a hug, kind smile or acceptance of who you really are is the equivalent to walking into a cigarette factory with no matches, a bar with no glasses, or going on a nature walk where there are no trees.
A successful man is a busy man. We are taught to admire the hard worker who has the big ambitions and works 16 hour days. 'Fair play to him' is what they say. However, I never have and never could. Yes I too have and do work hard. Work is good for us all- it often allows talent to express itself and we, therefore, can all benefit from each other for each other. Or you can suck yourself into the mythical land called success where time is money and other people are always the enemy or have to be sucked up to. The wonderful you becomes the busy you- the false you.
I'm all for success and successful people. But a really successful person will not do it at all costs: his colleagues, his friends, his partner, his family, his community. You are no good to anybody if you do not strive to do good, and it is not good being gone to work 24/ 7. (You'll be the first to know it as your body and mind aches, but will you be the first to acknowledge it?) By all means pat yourself on the back but just remember you may be the only one patting with time. Your paymaster is only laughing at your non- assertive self. Yes, you'll have 10 houses, and 50 cars but when you lose your keys would you rather search a castle or a tee-pee?
Yes, I too have ambitions but 'big' for me is tedious and annoying. Dining or drinking with people who only talk about what they have drains me as I feel I have to fill their emptiness. That takes a lot out of a person. Promotions and work related achievements are good just as long as you remember you will work harder and longer. Yes Daddy and Mammy will be proud but at least they wont now have to pay for the Valium.
I realised the monks had it sussed this Christmas. Presents. What would I buy for my wife and children? Clothes? No, the place is cluttered with them. Toys? We could set up a shop right now, TOYS OR THEM! No, we have enough toys to film Toy Story 6. Jewellery? No. Perfume? No. All here. UMMMM?
While I thought about this I searched for the TV controls. However, finding the sitting room controls is not the same as finding the bedroom ones or the living room ones.......just too many TVs, too many cabinets, too many out of date tins of tomato puree and gluten free bread for those f... wheat days. Having too much is just frustrating. It adds weight and clutter to ones mind. Things break, get lost or forgotten about but one thing only can be cherished and cared for. I don't need 4 bank accounts to distract my heavy head. I just need one. One fridge not 3. I will still only eat the same. Having 500 Sky channels is not soul enhancing, it is infuriating and challenging. The appreciation for TV, music etc. lessens. In fact, it causes apathy. We forget to appreciate the one while searching always for the many. Some people are like that too when it comes to relationships but you can work that out for yourself.
So give me my sandals and robes. Time to chill. The monks were right. I may not chant just yet but I'm willing to give it a shot. Roll on my Thai Chi classes. Peace is definitely to be found in the less and not in the more.
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